Water Lily

"Suicides Create a Void Impossible to Fill;
Time Has Tempered My Grief Somewhat, But…"

Dear Readers,

In response to my blog, May 22, 2013, Q & A, Death By Suicide, I received a most meaningful and moving comment from Catherine that needs to be shared in this space. Catherine’s letter, with my, response is presented below.  


Dear Philip,

It is with deep gratitude and even relief to read these words, so lovingly articulated. I have never read such a detailed, yet succinct explanation of this tragic topic.

As you found out through my [spiritual] reading with you (but you may not recall), my son took his own life four days after his 29th birthday. Though I believe he was taken to a loving place, where he was (and is) guided by spiritual beings, I also believe that he and others like him are "separated" from the general population because he interrupted his learning while in the physical body. Suicides create a void that people with whom they had relationships have to find a way to fill. It is like the ripples created by the proverbial pebble dropped into a pond.

Every year, I go through a wide range of emotions, from celebrating his birth and the boy he was, to anger at his final action. Time has tempered my grief somewhat, but there is always going to be an emptiness that will not be filled in this lifetime.

So, I appreciate the information you provide in this post, about the statistics and warning signs of suicide, but I appreciate even more, the explanation of how our actions here so affect where we "end up," and how difficult it is to progress spiritually on the other side, as compared to while in the physical body. Thank you so much for expressing that in a way that makes so much sense–I had a "light bulb" moment!

I believe that there are levels of heaven and that we go to the level that matches our spiritual vibration, but I have a question. When we pass over, will we be met by loved ones we knew in this lifetime whose vibrations match our own, or does that matter at that moment?

Thank you for providing all of the wisdom of your insight, and thanks to Marcia for asking the questions that prompted this response.

With love and gratitude,


* * *

Dear Catherine,

I am so sorry for your suffering from your son’s suicide. No one can truly appreciate what you have been through to make sense of it all and to find healing.

I would like to begin by saying that the love of God and that of those who aid anyone who comes to the spirit world, at whatever age or by whatever means, is so unconditional and so limitless that every effort is made to turn any death into a stepping stone and a perpetually elevating outcome. As a spiritual person, I am sure you surmised or understood this fact already.

The hardest part, if we have taken our life, is to forgive ourselves and to turn regret into a complete awakening. This awakening comes as a result of our dawning awareness as to the wrong we have done and in transforming our regret and remorse into positive and productive energy. This action includes forgiving and loving ourselves and others unconditionally and manifests outwardly in the spiritual, elevating action of helping others who need help when they arrive in spirit and especially, in your son’s case, in helping those who have come over to the spirit world also by means of suicide.

What we can’t know, as I mentioned in this blog on suicide, is the state of your son’s mind and his motive which, as I said, figures greatly in the overall reality of his death and eventual awakening in the spirit world. I also said, that no one can be in their “right mind” when they end their earthly life by suicide. The influence of lower spirits can have no little effect in some cases and this figures in greatly on the other side in terms of understanding, compassion, and liberation.

The law of cause and effect is an inescapable reality on earth and in the spirit world but love can supersede it if true remorse and regret is demonstrated sufficiently. This does not mean that someone is standing by judging anyone; it means that as you get greater understanding and awareness—toward the wrong committed accompanied by true regret—the faster can you come out of ignorance and the results of where suicide has placed you. And this is true of all wrong actions and overcoming and turning an experience into a learning, elevating one.

As we have put ourselves into our regretful situation, so too are we responsible for taking ourselves out of it. This is accomplished through proper self-love accompanied and empowered by the omnipresent and personal love of God and the love and help of close loved ones, master teachers, and angels. On this point, there is nothing so different in the spirit world from overcoming and correcting wrong thinking with regretful circumstances on earth.

In both cases, we must see that we have done wrong according to the laws of life.  And instead of justifying and blaming others and life’s circumstances, we must substantially realize our own wrong thinking that led us to such a predicament in the first place. This awakening brings forth feelings of genuine sorrow and remorse. Thus, the cleansing-healing process is begun. By these means negative energy is gradually transformed into positive energy. This positive energy manifests in the form of humility and a solemn determination to right our wrong through corresponding action.

Eventually, in the spirit world, the wound incurred from wrong doing heals and becomes a faint scar in the memory and eventually fades with further and further awakening and ever increasing understanding and right action. When these are accompanied by progressive levels of proper respect and love for ourselves and others we act accordingly and are well on our way to spiritual maturity and perfection.

Eternity is a long, long time to live in regret. And… if it was not for the spiritual reality that what you sow is what you reap in the awakening, healing process—meaning transforming negative energy into positive energy—no one would have a chance in the spirit world to progress and we would all be unable to eventually match the understanding, wisdom, and love of spiritual masters and our beloved Creator. The plan always was and always will be that every soul becomes one with God and this is the ever-present, vital, loving, energetic undercurrent throughout the spirit world and no one escapes its operation in and all around them.

Because life is all about transforming our life’s energies from lower to higher, from inner to outer, from lesser to greater, from self to others, from others to God, then we are all doing time in complying with and carrying out this spiritual principle and process. Herein, along with what I said just above, lies the hope and promise for all, including your son.

To answer your question: When we pass over, will we be met by loved ones we knew in this lifetime whose vibrations match our own, or does that matter at that moment?

If law strictly ruled there would be no hope for most of us as throughout our lives we knowingly or unknowingly do not always comply with spiritual law. I try to keep perpetually in mind that life is a school and its lessons, even when we break universal spiritual law, are not to hold us perpetually in regret and remorse but to teach us right from wrong that we may, from then on, do what is right.

When we go over it is our own mind that serves as judge and jury. In the face of perfection which abounds and surrounds us as an ever working reality in the spirit world, our faults are easily seen and known, especially by us. In other words, there is no escaping seeing black or gray against a background of spotless, pure white. With that dawning we go to that place where our mind and consequent vibrations are aligned with everyone existing in that realm.

What we see outwardly is what we are inwardly. A darkened mind is surrounded by a dark atmosphere whereas a mind filled with light is surrounded by light. This is justice at its highest level and from it we cannot escape or lie to ourselves. Whether or not someone whom we knew on earth is in the same realm, whether it be a realm of dark or light or somewhere in between, it is still possible to have meetings between the divergent energies with special provision as handled by the masters of each realm.

We have to earn our own way out of our darkness; but…the greatest thing is that plentiful help, compassion, and mercy abound in the spirit world. The moment that there is even a glimmer of higher understanding manifesting in the mind of anyone, a master comes immediately to enhance and increase that awareness as much as the law allows and love leads; love being the operational dynamic in all cases.

* * *

Thank you, dear Catherine, for so freely sharing your thoughts and heart about the death of your son. I know our readers will be as touched by your words as I was. I also know that all will be very appreciative and admiring of your faith and courage and exceedingly empathetic towards your deep suffering.

Those who feel moved to pray for your son should do so to add positive energy to his plight and upward spiritual growth. They need not know your son’s name only that he is the son of Catherine…and God and spirit world know his and your last name that the energy given in prayer will be received.

Your letter brings my coverage of suicide full circle and it serves so well to further illuminate the problem and tragedy of suicide, how real it is, the need to go to any length to get help to avoid it, and with this, the need to inform ourselves about it whether we are a potential victim or the loved one of someone who is.

With much love and gratitude in return,



P.S. I used the lotus blossom photograph for this blog as it symbolizes a great truth:  I do not see any of life with a mind toward despair but as opportunity made possible through object lessons from which we learn and can grow. As the lotus begins in the mud (meaning ignorance) and rises up eventually toward the wide open skies and brilliant sun light (God) so are we born in ignorance and therefore err and learn from life; and as we overcome we gradually rise higher and higher to bask in and become one with the Divine.